Different Hats- The Johari Window

‘See things from different hats, and at times, put on no hat at all. Walk alongside the client. See the world as they see it.’ This is the heart of the Johari Window in clinical practice — not just a model, but a posture of radical curiosity about the other’s inner world.

In this blog, we look at post-marital dissolution from a grief-informed existential lens.

I recall some counseling strategies just after my internship was over, and how grief-informed therapy helped deepen my practice and approach to culturally informed therapy.

In the resources section, there is a short book that summarizes key learning points gained through work with marginalized communities, working through their traumas.

Trauma informed approach is a key guiding principle in my practice as I have lived on the ground in the Libyan Arab spring, and know personally that all the wounds of war are not seen. Mindfulness based interventions to reduce stress, see our conditioning from a detached calm curious compassionate perspective and see what one has to Let Go is an approach which I have followed myself – for myself and with persons with whom I work. For example- the question- Do you have a different opinion about the Vietnam war than the common people (a question adapted from Alanon 12 step recovery fellowship) – when asked by a spiritual fellow traveler made me reflect upon my own experiences in the Arab spring, and how it is a world so very different from North American society. This has helped me tailor my approach with clients of different geographies, generations and gender.

Family Systems Approach and being aware of different dynamics is another guiding principle. Having helped my family evolve through four continents-India, North Africa, Malta-Europe and Canada and being a parent helping my sons transition in post covid North America I understand the nuances and challenges through both my lived experiences, have explored them in therapy myself and also through clinical supervision and academic study.

Psychodynamic approach would explore the unconscious and would go into the family of origin, the culture of origin. In my graduate studies, though I would go for the Third Generation Cognitive Behavioural therapy tools – like Acceptance and Commitment therapy-(ACT) all my supervisors would tell me that many of my interventions would be classified as psychodynamic. I am a big believer in noting the patterns, and if one has to go into their history-then we would want to go into family of origin. Sculpting a childhood family dinner is one of my favourite Adlerian interventions.

Existential Humanistic approach- If your best friend was giving you some suggestions what would they be? This approach has helped persons be their own friend and also reflect upon some of their associations, what brought them together in that particular phase of life, and how things have evolved. Carl Rogers told about unconditional positive regard, authenticity and empathy and how the paradox of when one accepts the client as they are, they begin to change.

Johari Window-One on One: Post marital dissolution confusion

Three scenarios – Different hats

1- P- F 50 – An immigrant from Ghana- whose husband passed away in Africa-presented with breakdown in daily functioning, was admitted to Humber River Psychiatry. One son M 11 is in foster care in Canada, daughter is a teenager, studying in high school in Ghana

2- M- M 68- An immigrant from Romania-looks after his daughter who is legally blind, cannot take care of herself. Presented with Motor Vehicle Accident-MVA-following which he has pain, difficulty in activities of daily living and anxiety, sleeplessness and worries excessively about future of daughter

2- A- M 45- immigrant from South Asia-facing confusion, uncertainty, self doubt and identity crises following post marital dissolution.

Presented with sleeplessness, suicidal ideation, mixed feelings about the life which was there with his ex-partner- soon to be ex-wife and how things have unfolded in his current life.

EARLIER PERSPECTIVES

Case Scenario: E M 37- Immigrant from India, family stayed in Middle East for a few years, before shifting to Canada- He was around 10 years old when he came. He left home at age 14 to escape a traumatic abusive dynamic of conflict and alcoholism.

2024- Presented with feelings of unease after having ended a decade long marriage, gone into another relationship which he broke up, and is now in a live-in relationship with another person, but has intrusive thoughts about his previous relationships.

2026- comes regularly for therapy to see his attachment patterns and how they play out in his current relationships.

Johari Window Exercises

The open self- what is known to both myself and others- can be truths which are undeniable over time, how they affected my relationships, especially with those I hurt, and what parts of me remained consistent and genuine. These can serve as a means to explore the personal and interpersonal dynamics, how they affect identity, isolation, meaning and freedom.

For example

C- We came together when we were in our teens. Despite her parents having warned her about me, she chose to be with me. However, around seven years after our marriage, we started drifting apart, staying together like hostel room members, avoiding any deeper discussion.

For a detailed nuanced narrative using the Johari Window- you can see this blog

…

Using a Grief informed Lens to look at the Johari Window we can ask questions in four domains

1- Pain in present life

2- Pain for the life which one could have had

3- Pain for the past self-the dreams aspirations which were not realized

4- Pain for the relationship- a lost self

5- Additionally- during conversations we went into his daily journal and his feelings of sadness when he saw young children play. Recommended PAIL network-Pregnancy and Infant Loss network to help gain a support circle.

1- Pain in present life

Creatures of a day is a tool which I use often in therapy, to describe some interactions, the context in which one met these persons, what feelings came up in those interactions. The mindfulness informed approach goes into the informal and formal modes of meditation. One can do the who, what, when, why, where, how questions to deepen the review. For eg- a client going through post marital dissolution told me that he feels less stress when he is doing his work, interacting with his work colleagues, building projects and reviewing the technicalities. When he started doing the journaling exercises I had suggested around 1-Reliability 2- Realistic 3- Reasonable 4 – Respectful 5- Responsive 6- Responsible 7- Reflective and applied them in some family related conversations, he told how he felt stressed and overwhelmed.

For example

1- Reliability

Am I reliable in that context or am I having cognitive distortions, my defenses are on the rise and I am watching carefully what I speak and how, and hence cannot be authentic and genuine in this relational dynamic.

The Johari window- when done with a trained mental health worker, can help uncover one’s blind spots- hidden from self, known the others. For example, in this case as we reviewed his interactions, he realized that work has become his safety mechanism, avoiding the difficult conversations, so that he does not have to deal with these important matters. Workaholism is one of the socially accepted and even encouraged compulsive behaviours which at times may worsen family dynamics.

The hidden self- hidden from others, known to self- came out in his body language, significant pauses and changing of topic, when asked who initiated contact and how, how long was the interaction, was there any agreed upon agenda and what was the conclusion.

Blind self

Known to others

Not known to self

Example from above scenario

Workaholism and Avoidance

Eg- I felt nice when I talked to colleagues, felt stressed when I tried to do the worksheet

Workaholism

Eg- How has this affected my relation to myself, my partner, my view of family, self-worth within relationship

Comment

Mindfulness Based CBT – Approach

Investigate the Awareness and Energy

Eg- time of day, body scan, how I felt before, during,after

Acceptance of Emotions

Eg-Being aware of and accepting how deriving self worth from sources other than family and deriding the family has led to estrangement and alienation

Blind self

Known to others

Not known to self

Example from a scenario in your life

Comment

Mindfulness Based CBT – Approach

Do a body scan and acceptance of emotions exercise and fill in

WORKSHEETS TO REFLECTIVE JOURNAL

To begin using the worksheet, set aside a quiet time and space where you can focus without distractions. Start by choosing a specific topic or question that you would like to reflect on, such as a recent experience or an ongoing challenge. The worksheet can help give structure to one’s thoughts, underlying feelings, and yearnings, and can also help one see one’s patterns.

For example, after reflecting on the worksheets completed in the week before the session (focusing on reliability and commitment in relationships) and during the session itself (considering patterns like toning down opinions, avoiding direct answers, or giving confusing responses), A M 45-m explored his attitudes toward himself, his family of origin, his family of creation, his work and workplace, and his approach to market forces and their impact on his work-life balance.

As you read this example, consider if you notice similar patterns in your own reflections or daily life. Are there areas where you might avoid certain topics, hold back your opinions, or act in less direct ways? Recognizing these tendencies in yourself can be the first step toward meaningful insight and growth.

I need to define and defend my boundaries. What are my intellectual, emotional, and time boundaries? Is my intellectual work in the industry being respected? Is my emotional boundary being acknowledged or dismissed ? Am I able to express myself genuinely?

These questions and reflections upon them made S realize his tendency to get by rather than take a stand.

He became more assertive and focused, while also appreciating the role of others in his life, both at work and in his family.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

How should I use the worksheet in my own reflection process?

How can I adapt these questions to my unique situation or challenges?

What should I do after completing the worksheet and reflecting on my answers?

DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET ON JOHARI WINDOW

ws-worksheet-johari-window-2025-4 (2)

For a customized plan you can contact

https://mantraofhopecounselling.janeapp.com

References

Spennemann, D. H. (2023). The usefulness of the Johari Window for the Cultural Heritage Planning Process. Heritage, 6(1), 724-741.

Pregnancy & Infant Loss (PAIL) Network – Sunnybrook Hospital

Johari Window: To work through Prejudices and Presumptions

The Johari window tells about the open, hidden,blind, unknown aspects of self and is used by me to collaborate with clients to examine areas of communication, commitment and conflict. University of California psychologists Joseph Luft (1916–2014) and Harrington Ingham (1916–1995) helped conceptualize a model which helps see an individual’s position in and their relationships and interactions with others in a group (Spennemann, 2023).

Johari Window: To work through Prejudices and Presumptions – Candlestick Counselling and Psychotherapy Services

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

BOOKS

Summary of writings on Mindfulness, Anger, Grief, Acculturation issues, Alienation using Erik Erikson’s- stages of Psychosocial Development.

Some examples of tools you will get in this book are

Hope-Focused Therapy, one of the group programs offered at Mantra of
Hope Counselling, draws on the acronym LOVE:
• L — Listen and Repeat (reflective listening)
• O — Observe your effects on others
• V — Value your partner’s or family member’s experience
• E — Evaluate both parties’ interests with curiosity, not judgment

You can download this book here.

Counseling Scenarios 2024 Prashant Bhatt, MD, MA Honours

Group Therapy-Existential Mapping and Suicide Awareness-March 2026

The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of bigger ideas, never returns to its original size. —OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES

In this monthly group therapy update (March 2026), we apply the cognitive behavior therapy model of how thoughts, feelings, behaviors impact each other and systems we interact with, and use the REST -Relax Evaluate Set Intention Take Action- to view some maps, territories, and journeys.

Bronte Creek-Provincial Park-Thinking Places-Having a Thinking place and scheduling to go there is a great way to Grow- John C Maxwell.

When a group member brought up the suicide of an acquaintance, I remembered the first time I came to know about suicide. This was in Poona (now Pune), Maharashtra, Western India, in the 1970s. The wife of one of my father’s colleagues took her own life- everyone knew, but they did not want to discuss it. One of my family members has suicided, suffering from chronic pain, from which he saw no way out. Many decades later, we still do not mention him. In medical school, every year, a colleague or student took their life.

The example of Solomon Thomas’s journey after his sister Ella took her own life and the ripples that had in his individual life, family, football community, and wider world is a case in point. We then dissect a scenario using the IS PATH WARM framework for suicide awareness. This will show how, after the initial grounding and ABCDE sheets, STOPP tools of CBT and third-generation adaptations such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy can be developed further to chart our journeys.

Existential Framework: Unemployment and Burnout are things we discussed. To develop a perspective, rates of unemployment in Canada-2025 are given in end of this post.

GROUP SUPPORT-PRINCIPLES

Applying CBT in group therapy, we try to develop a safe space and a social microcosm of the real world, create stable, secure attachment relationships, and practice support in the here and now. Grounding exercises like breath, body awareness, and Metta Loving Kindness meditation are some ways to develop and deepen these practices.

The in-person group meeting summarized some insights about expressing emotions amongst men, and we looked at compulsive patterns through a compassionate lens, trying to increase our understanding of the cultural nuances.

Four pivots to develop Group Awareness are

MINDFULNESS: Being aware of the present moment without judging it. Try taking a few slow deep breaths and noticing any sensations in your body right now.

LIVING KINDNESS: Wishing yourself and others safety, happiness, comfort, and freedom from pain. Practice by silently saying to yourself, “May I be safe and well,” and, if you feel comfortable, extending this wish to others in the group.

FOCUSED ATTENTION: Choose one area to work on, such as self-care, self-esteem, or relationships. Set a small goal for the week related to your chosen area, like drinking more water or reaching out to a friend.

OPEN AWARENESS: Try to notice more of what is happening around and within you. Take a moment to glance around the room and notice three things you can see, hear, or feel.

Group Therapy Example

Theme	Example in group session	Comment
Mindfulness	Mindful eating versus Mindless eating Eating when emotions tell us to eat (sad, anxious, tired) versus when body tells us to eat (stomach growling, low energy)	Though food is a way to connect, the soup and Hakka Rice Noodles, wafers were a bit too much. Do Different: We will try to limit overeating and be accountable
Living Kindness	May the persons in the group be safe, happy and at ease, while being open about their struggles which they can discuss in a confidential manner and get professional feedback	When group members opened up about their issues relating to education, employment and future vision,we did some processing into the Cultural Context and pressures -especially from Immigrant parents of South Asian and Chinese backgrounds
Focused Attention	Self care of one’s sexual self was discussed. The point for journaling on the desire, arousal, action, orgasm cycle was suggested to know better the patterns	When group member was asked whether they have had relationships and they answered no, the discrepancy was pointed out. A fantasy can lead to a relationship. How this will impact an actual partner dyad with a real person in the future was discussed
Open awareness	In the Here and Now- to defuse from obsessive thinking we went into three sights, two sounds, one taste and linked it with something positive and healing Eg- Sights of rounded shapes were identified, but after closing eyes were asked how many rectangular objects are in front of us.	This helps increase our awareness of our Biases, Beliefs, Self Take and also teaches us to Detach, Defuse and Develop Equanimity- not getting hooked to Negative Self Talk

BACKGROUND:

The Ripple Effect of Loss: Lessons from Solomon Thomas’s Journey

NFL defensive lineman Solomon Thomas’s story powerfully illustrates how suicide creates devastating waves that extend far beyond the individual loss. When Thomas’s sister Ella took her own life in 2018, the impact reverberated through every layer of his world—transforming not only his personal identity but also reshaping his family’s foundation and his relationship with the broader community.

On an individual level, Thomas experienced what many survivors describe: a complex mix of grief, guilt, and searching questions that no amount of professional success could answer.

His family found themselves navigating an entirely altered landscape, where shared memories became both sources of comfort and painful reminders, and where the simple act of gathering for holidays took on new weight and meaning.

Within the NFL community and beyond, Thomas’s openness about mental health challenges sparked crucial conversations about vulnerability, strength, and the importance of seeking help.

His advocacy work has created ripples of awareness that reach young athletes, families, and communities who might otherwise suffer in silence. This tragedy-to-purpose transformation demonstrates how one person’s willingness to share their pain can become a lifeline for others, turning personal devastation into a force for prevention and healing.

Thomas’s journey reminds us that while suicide leaves permanent scars on those left behind, survivors can choose to honor their loved ones by building bridges of understanding and hope for others walking similar paths.

IS PATH WARM-FRAMEWORK FOR SUICIDE AWARENESS

Scenario: A group member mentioned that a community contact committed suicide around ten days ago. Is the path warm

Letter	Warning Sign	Manifestation in This Scenario
I	Ideation	With a friend’s recent suicide (2 weeks ago), combined with multiple stressors, this individual may be experiencing suicidal thoughts or preoccupation with death.
S	Substance Abuse	Porn addiction as a compulsive behavior used to cope with emotional pain, stress, and loneliness. This can function similarly to substance abuse in providing temporary escape.
P	Purposelessness	Unemployment creates lack of daily structure and purpose. Immigrant status may compound feelings of not belonging or having a meaningful role in society.
A	Anxiety	Anxiety about finding employment, caring for a family member with neurological disease, financial stress, and relationship difficulties (hesitation to relate to female partners).
T	Trapped	Feeling trapped by immigrant circumstances, unemployment, family caregiving responsibilities, and the cycle of porn addiction. Limited options may feel overwhelming.
H	Hopelessness	Friend’s recent suicide may create despair about things ever improving. Multiple ongoing challenges (job, family health, addiction) can make future seem bleak.
W	Withdrawal	Social isolation due to shame about porn addiction, grief over friend’s death, or depression. May withdraw from support systems when most needed.
A	Anger	Anger at circumstances, self (for addiction), the healthcare system (family member’s disease), or the friend who died by suicide. May be internalized or expressed indirectly.
R	Recklessness	Could manifest in risky sexual behaviors online, neglecting self-care, or other impulsive actions as a way to numb emotional pain.
M	Mood Changes	Significant mood swings due to grief, stress, addiction cycles, and hormonal/neurochemical effects of compulsive porn use and depression.

AFTER THOUGHTS

While none of the members said they had active suicidal thoughts, they all agreed that negativity was a way to cut oneself with a thousand paper cuts- self-sabotage. They will bring a list of ways they talk to themselves, cutting each other with small paper-cuts.

You can download worksheets here.

Worksheets-Pivots of Awareness-2026-4 (1)

IS PATH WARM-FRAMEWORK FOR SUICIDE AWARENESS

Group Therapy-Summary-March 2026-Mantra of Hope-Mississauga

Group Therapy-2026-1-2 Mantra of Hope

References

American Association of Suicidology. (n.d.). IS PATH WARM? Suicide assessment framework. https://www.suicidology.org/is-path-warm

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and commitment therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. Guilford Press.

The Defensive Line. (2025, August). Solomon Thomas is tackling the mental health crisis one conversation at a time. https://thedefensiveline.org/2025/08/solomon-d-magazine/

Willard, C. (2022). How we grow through what we go through: Self-compassion practices for post-traumatic growth. Sounds True, Incorporated.

Overview of Youth Unemployment in Canada (2025)

In 2025, Canada’s youth unemployment rate (ages 15-24) averaged around 13.8%, peaking at 14.7% in September—the highest since 2010 outside pandemic years—before easing to 13.3% by December. This marked a sharp rise from 10.8% in 2023, driven by weaker entry-level job markets, student summer challenges, and population growth among young temporary residents.

Key Statistics by Age Group (Q3 2025)

Youth unemployment disproportionately affected younger groups, with rates roughly double those of core-aged adults (25-54 years at 5.8%).

Age Group	Unemployment Rate (Q3 2025)	Change Since Q3 2022
15-19 years	20.8%	+8.2 pts
20-24 years	11.3%	+3.2 pts
25-29 years	8.2%	+2.4 pts
30-34 years	6.1%	+1.7 pts
Core adults (25-54)	5.8%	+1.0 pt

Teen (15-19) rates nearly doubled from 2019 levels, hitting 20.8% amid the worst student summer job market since 2009.

Demographic and Regional Breakdowns

May 2025 (ages 15-24): Black youth at 22.3%, racialized at 18.0%, Indigenous at 18.2%; youth with disabilities at 18.8% (vs. 11.9% without). (Statistics Canada, 2025)
NEET Rate: ~914,000 youth (15-29) or 11.5% not in employment, education, or training—up 201,800 since 2023.
Provincial (Dec 2025, youth rates): Ontario ~16%, Newfoundland & Labrador 16.3%, Alberta ~15%, BC ~14% (gaps of 5.5-8.2 pts over overall rates).

Breaking Cycles of Blame: Healing Relationships Through Attachment Insights

Attachment interruptions are dangerous…like a scratched cornea,

relationship ruptures deliver agony.”

Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon, A General Theory of Love

In this article, we explore the idea of love as a mirror, look at different attachment patterns, and revisit John Bowlby’s 1944 study of the 44 juvenile thieves to see how it has shaped psychotherapy and society.

Earlier, we talked about John Bowlby’s attachment theory. In this article, we share more details about his key work and how his ideas have shaped psychotherapy, mental health, and society.

We also include a worksheet to help you understand and break cycles of blame, frustration, numbing, shutting down, and lashing out—patterns that can turn loving relationships into sources of conflict.

John Bowlby-1944

Shimla-1940s..British India :This theme took me back to the oft-repeated remark of my father, who lost his mother when he was less than five years old. “I never had a mother,”

**Family of origin:** Looking back at my parents’ childhood patterns helped me understand some lasting truths. My father’s mother died in the early 1940s, when he was under five years old.

Bowlby’s attachment theory can be used with Time and Truth tools. By looking at a family’s timeline, we can see how our earliest moments and our first caregivers become our first mirrors.

This theme took me back to the oft-repeated remark of my father, who lost his mother when he was less than five years old. “I never had a mother,” he would say.

He was born in British India and lived in a collectivist Joint family arrangement, brought up with his extended family, cousins, and other family elders. His father started in the fire department of Shimla, British India, in the 1930s and then worked in the Ministry of External Affairs from 1947 to 1969.

Mindsight means developing an observer’s mind to find meaning and gain insight. To practice this, spend 30 seconds just watching your own thoughts. Don’t judge—just notice what comes up. This simple exercise can help you turn the idea of mindsight into real experience, building self-awareness and a better understanding of your relationships.

Doing the exercise of noticing how someone relates to me, what they reflect back, and how I see myself through that relationship made me think about some of my mentors.

One of my mentors is my spiritual guide. We try to meet once a month and walk by the Humber River in the Old Mills area, at Etienne Brule Park. We often sit and meditate around 2 pm, wishing for peace and harmony for the earth, all people, and all living beings. There is a memorial stone in Etienne Brule where we reflect on the words of Robert Burns. This memorial honors David Dryburgh Birrell (1942-1998).

Whatever mitigates the woes or increases the happiness of others

That is my criterion of goodness.

Whatever injures society as a whole or any person in it

That is my measure of iniquity.

Robert Burns

LOCAL HISTORIES-PARKS AND MEMORIALS

Momorial Tree-PNB-Prem Narain Bhatt-June 25-1939-June 26-1999; Erindale Park-Mississauga — PNB Memorial-Erindale

In loving memory of David Dryburgh Birell — David Dryburgh Birrell Memorial-Etienne Brule

Over the past decade, my family and I, immigrants from India who lived in Libya and Malta before coming to Toronto, have built personal connections and memories in some of these parks.

These spiritual connections have helped us feel more at home in this community. Last summer (2025), while my mentor and I sat by the memorial stone, someone praying nearby came over and asked, “Did you know David?” We replied, “We did not know him in his physical life, but we feel his spiritual presence.” He told us he knows the family and spoke about David’s peaceful nature. Connections like these can be healing. As we walk a spiritual path, we meet fellow travelers.

RESOURCES FOR REFLECTION- You can download the original report of John Bowlby-1944; Worksheets on Emotional Mirroring and ABCDE sheets

ADDITIONAL READING

https://resource.download.wjec.co.uk/vtc/2020-21/el20-21_25-3a/wjec/classic_evidence_bowlby.pdf

Mapping Your Emotional Mirrors Download

ABCDE Sheet v 2026 1 (1)Download

DOWNLOAD VERSION OF THE ARTICLE WITH LINKS TO

WORKSHEETS HERE

Cycles of Trust-Bowlby (1)

Transformative Group Therapy at Mantra of Hope

Group Therapy Sessions at Mantra of Hope Counselling

🌟 Healing Together: Finding Strength Through Shared Stories

At Mantra of Hope Counselling, we believe that healing happens not just individually, but in the warmth and understanding of community.

Our specialized group therapy sessions provide a safe, supportive environment where you can navigate life’s most challenging transitions alongside others who truly understand your journey.

🎯 Our Group Therapy Focus Areas

We offer targeted group sessions designed to address specific life challenges:

Acculturation Stress

Navigating the complexities of adapting to a new culture while honoring your heritage. Find support as you build bridges between your past and present.

Post Marital Dissolution

Processing the emotional landscape after divorce or separation. Discover pathways to healing, rebuilding, and rediscovering yourself.

Grief & Loss

Moving through the waves of loss with compassion and understanding. Learn to honor your grief while finding meaning and connection again.

Intimacy Anorexia

Addressing patterns that create emotional distance in relationships. Develop skills for healthy intimacy and authentic connection.

🔄 Our Unique Therapeutic Approach

Real Stories, Real Healing

We weave authentic life experiences with evidence-based therapeutic guidance, creating a tapestry of understanding that speaks to both the heart and mind. Each session combines:

Personal narratives that normalize your experience
Practical therapeutic tools you can use immediately
Specific recovery tasks designed to guide your growth
Gentle education that empowers your healing journey

Integrated Theoretical Framework

Our approach draws from proven therapeutic models, customized for your unique needs:

🔗 Attachment Theory (Bowlby) Understanding how early relationships shape current patterns and building secure connections

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family Systems Theory (Bowen, Minuchin) Exploring family dynamics and generational patterns that influence your present experiences

💝 Emotional Processing (Johnson) Developing skills to identify, express, and regulate emotions in healthy ways

🌅 Existential Themes (Yalom, Frankl) Finding meaning, purpose, and hope even in life’s most difficult chapters

🌱 The Group Experience

What to Expect

Psychoeducational Elements

Learn about the psychology behind your experiences
Understand common patterns and responses
Gain practical tools for daily life

Process-Oriented Healing

Share your story in a judgment-free space
Witness and support others’ journeys
Practice new skills in real-time

Customized Support

Sessions adapted to group needs and dynamics
Individual attention within the group setting
Flexible pacing that honors everyone’s process

The Power of Group Healing

🤝 Shared Understanding Connect with others who “get it” without lengthy explanations

🪞 Perspective & Reflection See your own patterns more clearly through others’ experiences

💪 Collective Strength Draw courage from the group’s resilience and hope

🛠️ Skill Building Practice new ways of being in a supportive environment

🚀 Your Journey Forward

Group therapy at Mantra of Hope isn’t just about managing challenges—it’s about transformation, empowerment, and rediscovering your authentic self. Our integrative approach ensures that you leave each session not only with greater understanding, but with practical tools for creating the life you want.

Whether you’re navigating cultural transitions, healing from relationship changes, processing loss, or working toward deeper intimacy, you don’t have to walk this path alone.

📞 Ready to Begin?

Take the first step toward healing in community. Contact Mantra of Hope Counselling today to learn more about our group therapy sessions and find the support you deserve.

BOOK https://mantraofhopecounselling.janeapp.com/

Healing happens in relationship. Your story matters. Your journey is valid. And your hope can be restored.

WORKSHEET- OUTLINE OF GROUP

Group Therapy Program_ _Roots & Wings_Download

SUMMARY AND TOOLS-2026-JAN FEB

Click to access Group-Therapy-2026-1-2-Mantra-of-Hope.pdf

FAMILY DAY 2026- Reflections

Family Day 2026

Mindfulness Practices in 12-Step Recovery

Reviewing some journeys and fellow travelers this year, made me see the spokes of the wheel of Satipathana Sutta and its applications in 12 step recovery groups.

I had grown to my desk, as it were, and the wood had entered into my soul….

Charles Lamb, 1821

Reviewing some journeys and fellow travelers this year, 2025, made me see the spokes of the wheel of Satipathana Sutta and its applications in 12 step recovery groups.

The second step of 12 step recovery says-came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The Satipathana Sutta explores body, feelings, mind, dhammas- hindrances and awakening factors.

In Winter 2025 I took a course on Satipathana and over the year, have revised some scripts of 12 step recovery with the orientation of seeing the steps as a path to awakening factors.

Just as the Satipathana meditation groups (Sangha) are important, in 12 step work, you work the program with a sponsor who shares his/her experience, strength and hope and holds one accountable to the 12 step path.

In defining in power greater than myself and working on developing an active spiritual life, I was guided by mentors in 12 step recovery, made to list experiences of spiritual care in my life and also dig deeper into the meaning of dependence and independence, counterdependence and interdependence.

As I look back on some associations, I recall letters which have helped shape my experiences and orientations and how developing thinking places, and making the time to go there have helped me deepen this quest

Itabashi

This thinking place reminded me of the concept of twinning, how family journeys to Benares, Shimla, Delhi, Rishikesh, Dehradun, Bhopal, Ujjain in my childhood and adolescent years from Pune helped me understand nuances of the family and our shared journeys.

Dependence- we want and need help

Counterdependence- we need but resist or even reject help

Independence- we are self sufficient and do not need help

Interdependence- we give and get help to and from others

(Carnes, 1994)

Around 12 years ago, I wrote a series of letters to my sons when they were in Toronto and I used to stay in Tripoli-Libya North Africa on remembering my father Prem Narain Bhatt, PNB, the journeys which shaped his life and how he developed the concept of family after being married to my mother NB nee Uniyal and the association with Benares and Uniyal family helped him get a different feel of family life.

This can be tied to the concept of Interdependence- we give and get help- which shows how we grow together. One of my father’s oft repeated remarks was that his mother passed away before he was five years old. This complex dynamic I have understood in different ways, through my education in counselling psychology, but that is not the scope of this article.

Twinning of the families, interchange of ideas, thoughts, memories and approaches to spirituality make me see the way my father PNB approached faith and my maternal grandmother KU -Kamla Uniyal nee Bahuguna approached her faith life.

Discussing with 12 step fellows four types of Higher Power/God came through

Non existent God/higher power- Not available to offer help

Non involved God/Higher Power- Not concerned and detached from our lives

Accepting God/Higher Power- Who accepts that we fail and cares anyway

Punishing God/Higher Power- Punishes our mistakes, does not reward or help.

(Carnes, 1994)

Application in Spiritual Life of Family

The test of the program is outside the rooms of recovery

A Senior Fellow in 12 step recovery

On remembering the ways of meditation, reading, relating to spiritual texts which my father PNB and maternal grandmother KU imbibed in me, I would say that the concept of Higher Power/God which they modeled was an accepting God who accepted that we fail, cared anyway and helped me understand the pitfalls and need for discipline.

The Bow of Meditation: Practices of my father PNB -at different frontiers

For example – the practice of meditation for at least 20 minutes two times a day, which my father would do every day- has taught me the power of pause, reset, refresh and reflect at the start and end of a day. He used to practice this as his duties carried him to different frontiers from North East India in the 1960s to Sri Lanka in 1980s.

I have refined this into a mid week and end week retreat- where I close all phones/screens and do step work and see relation to steps, higher power and share with a trusted fellow. Over the years, this concept which is derived from the attitude of humility, acceptance and interdependence has helped me see by Blind Spots (BS1) and Bull Shit (Bs 2).

Ramcharitramanas-and my Naniji-Maternal Grandmother-Kamla Uniyal nee Bahuguna: Benares-1950s-60s

The “Ramcharitmanas,” was my grandmother’s go-to book to develop her faith. Through its devotional poetry and the story of Lord Rama, it immersed her in ideals of dharma, selfless service, and unwavering faith, cultivating bhakti (loving devotion) and a model for righteous living. The “Ramcharitmanas” embodies archetypal ideals—like Rama’s integrity or Hanuman’s devotion—which serve as internal compass points. Contemplating these figures gradually reshapes one’s own character and intentions.

Practical Actionable Steps: Readings and Discussions in Greater Toronto Area-2020s

Applying this to my current context in Toronto, Canada, I developed reading circles and discussion groups, in which we read from foundational texts of 12 step recovery and see how these relate to our life.

Two books which helped in making actionable steps were the 12 steps and 12 traditions and Bill’s Story in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). These texts help break the vast journey of spiritual growth into actionable steps- eg admission of powerlessness, developing moral inventories, making amends- which demystify the process and provide concrete daily practices.

For eg when looking at primary purpose and how overthinking can be a stumbling block, the 12 step path helped me be more aware of spiritual aspects of my own family-from by father’s meditation practices, my grandmother’s reading practices – and imbibe them in my own life and develop and deepen my connection with a Higher Power.

The raw honesty of “Bill’s Story” creates immediate identification. Having

heard step ones in the fellowship helped connect with a recovery community.

It shows that spiritual awakening can be born from utter desperation and brokenness.

For eg-one mentor told how he joined 12 step recovery, when he had started becoming very resentful of the drug dependence of his son. He wanted to get the drug suppliers eliminated. That desperate darkness made him seek recovery, develop a connection with a Higher Power and made the Profound accessible. Over the years, I have spent many hours in cafe tables discussing and developing steps and reviewing reflecting on connection with a Higher Power.

One such senior fellow, with whom I have gone for walks by the Humber-Old Mills area- told of his parents migrating from Europe to North America to escape Nazism between the two world Wars. Now 90 years on, he is witnessing those old wounds re-open with the conflicts in Ukraine-2023 and still on going.

12 step recovery and fellowship helped him facilitate a shift from intellectual understanding to experiential truth, fostering humility, connection, and a sustained conscious contact with a power greater than oneself, which has become the bedrock for a life of purpose, peace, and service.

Elements Awakening Factors at Itabashi

Reflection on these notes and reviewing the columns of inventories, powerlessness, amends, the positive coping mechanisms and integrating these with Satipathana- the Awakening factors of Mindfulness, Investigation, Energy, Joy, Tranquility, Concentration and Equipoise has added another dimension to Higher Power Awareness and connection in this year.

For this I often go to Thinking Places. Going to open nature areas or theme parks has helped me deepen this process. One such Thinking place is Itabashi gardens in Burlington, Ontario.

The elements component of Satipathana tells of Earth, Wind, Water, Fire elements and to be aware of the empty nature of the body, cultivating an attitude of non-attachment. The Forest and Trails in and around Itabashi give many occasions to be more aware of these elements in nature and within oneself.

On investigation of the nature of spirituality, as conveyed by Interdependence, reflecting on the stories and journeys of my parents, grandparents and life in the Himalayas in the 1920s, 1940s, in what was British India then, made me deepen the way our family has grown.

In this investigation I also use the concept from Robin Sharma’s book-the Monk who sold his Ferrari- in which he tells the story of transformation of Julian Mantle and illustrates how we reached here, who we are as a group or family , how we reached here and how shared meanings help us evolve to what we can become.

For example- Investigation into the nature of mindfulness in the early morning hour – when night turns into day- has helped me see the rock gardens, different ornamental plants and paths in a fresh manner. The nature of mindfulness (present moment awareness in a non judgmental manner) has become further refined and the awareness of energy of the different tones-happy, sad, anxious, neutral- has increased.

The integration of these into the Letting Go and Non-Attachment while doing silent meditation or walking meditation or mindfulness of breath meditation at Itabashi has added another dimension.

Exploring Local Histories and Integrating them with Spiritual Care

When we first landed in Canada, we went to Kariya Park Mississauga, which symbolizes the twinning of the Japanese city of Kariya with the city of Mississauga.

In my walks in Hamilton area of Ontario, I came to see the statue of the writer Leonardo Sciascia, who comes from the sister city of Hamilton in Ontario- Racalmuto in Italy. This partnership honours and celebrates the historical and cultural connections and how throughout the 20th century, particularly in the post-World War II period, a large number of immigrants from Racalmuto and the surrounding province of Agrigento in Sicily settled in Hamilton, drawn by employment opportunities in the city’s thriving steel industry. These immigrants and their descendants became a vital part of Hamilton’s social, economic, and cultural fabric, establishing a vibrant Italian-Canadian community that has deeply influenced the city’s character.

Through work in various recovery communities, I came across descendants of persons who migrated from Europe, East Asia, South Asia, Africa, South America, Arab world.

In the context of developing and deepening connection with higher power, I looked back at my own family history, the spiritual practices modeled by my family members and how going to a place of historical and natural significance, can deepen such a connection. In my diaries, I have recorded early morning and late afternoon walks in Itabashi gardens, and the way conscious contact with elements, awakening factors, local histories, family memories and step work can make a rich mix to deepen one’s spirituality.

You can download worksheets and work upon them to further develop your connection with Awakening factors and Higher Power/God.

Worksheets – Spiritual Texts Higher Power 2025 12 Download

Worksheet_12 step integration with Awakening factors Download

References

Patrick J. Carnes. (1994). A gentle path through the twelve steps: The classic guide for all people in the process of recovery. Hazelden Publishing.

Dragons or Donkeys: Understanding Anger through different lenses

Equanimity: Managing Anger -Comparing Narrative Therapy and CBT

I make myself rich by making my wants few- Henry David Thoreau

Modern man no longer communicates with the madman . . … and expels from the memory all those imperfect words, of no fixed syntax, spoken falteringly, in which the exchange, between madness and reason, was carried out.

Michel Foucalt, 1961, History of Madness

Michel Foucalt- History of Madness-1961- was one of the foundational influences of the founders of Narrative Therapy-Michael White and David Epston

By Arturo Espinosa – https://www.flickr.com/photos/espinosa_rosique/7908579302, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=79472629

In this article we discuss ways in which different approaches can benefit in defining an issue, taking the example of anger. Anger leads to loss of equanimity.

The word equanimity comes from Latin roots meaning “even” and “mind”. Holding what passes through your mind in spaciousness to stay in balance, moving beyond the reactive mode is achieved by Equanimity. The chain of expectations, desires, wants, are broken leading to alleviation of suffering.

The following are some exercises which I have found useful in moving into Equanimity.

1- Write down ways in which one starts becoming less balanced.

A written record of the ways in which one starts going into the cycle of expectations, desires, wants, fears, greed, disgust can give a good opening into the habits of the heart and head. One way to sharpen this focus is to read a newspaper/news-site for 15 minutes and keep classifying under the headings of greed, fear, disgust the feelings evoked by the articles.

2- Developing Borders and Boundaries: Remembering Spencer (White, 1984; White, 2007)

Spencer, the young boy who had the issue of soiling was told to characterize in near and particular terms, how this issue is affecting and ruling his life. His parents were told to characterize how this issue rules and ruins their lives. Then Spencer was asked to give a name to this issue of Soiling. He called it Mr.Mischief. They went on to relate to this issue in a particular rather than general manner, and in a near rather than distant way, thus helping define the boundaries and borders of the issue, get a better handle on it and define their relationship to the issue.

This example of Spencer, illustrates how to externalize and objectify an issue which is affecting one’s life, and then create a statement of position map, which can help one create a plan and monitor our process.

3- Creating personal examples : Balance of the Lotus

Eastern traditions see the Lotus flower as an embodiment of purity, enlightenment and rebirth. The balance between beauty and adversity are shown in the growth process of the Lotus, as it emerges above mud and water. It symbolizes harmonious balance between earthly struggles and divine purity.

Nature walks and creating living symbols of these experiences has been a way to enhance balance in my life.

4- Case Scenario: Anger seen through different counselling approaches (Narrative/CBT)

Mr. S, presents with anger, which has affected his work, relationships, standing in community

NARRATIVE THERAPY APPROACH

Externalize – The history of anger, as if it is a creature outside of oneself waiting to get inside you
Therapist Role-is on listening, accepting, non-judgmental, non-confrontational statements..to be like a Junior Partner, Investigative Journalist,

CONTRAST WITH CBT APPROACH

BASIC ID-Behaviour- writes angry letters, throws plants

Affect feels humiliated

Sensations pounding heart

Imagery sees himself being taken away from grandson

Cognitions I am a middle aged man who is being deprived of my rights,

standing in unfair manner

Interpersonal angry at wife , sons, in-laws

Drugs takes alcohol to drown the pain

NARRATIVE THERAPY approach uses interventions like externalizing, metaphors, mapping to develop a near and particular relation with the issue.

Mr.S went into the history of anger, by asking to see it as a creature outside oneself who is thinking of ways to trick him into losing his calm. Mr.S told of his early years of immigration from Bombay, India to Canada, how he saw his mother being beaten by his alcoholic father, his being bullied in school. As he became a teenager, he stopped these things as best as he knew.The “Bullied became the Bully”. On being asked to give a name for Mr.Anger he came up with two metaphors. He first called Mr.Anger the “Dragon”. However, on reflection he said, “If I am still riding this creature and getting taken for a ride in my seventh decade of life, then I am riding a Mr.Donkey”.

After establishing rapport, agreeing that anger-related issues are worth exploring and addressing, we set about seeing how Mr.S has constructed his life around anger by

1- Externalizing anger

2- Deconstructing anger narratives

3- Re-authoring personal stories

4- Exploring values and intentions

5-Creating alternative responses

1- Externalizing anger

Encouraging Mr.S to treat Mr.Anger as a separate entity or character helped distance himself from anger and view it as something outside of his core identity. Be doing this he gained a new perspective on his anger, started seeing how his life would be without anger and create a map to challenge the dominance of anger in his life.

2- Deconstructing anger

We explored the stories and meanings Mr.S attaches to his anger. Through telling these stories we were able to examine the underlying beliefs, assumptions, and cultural influences that contribute to his anger. For example, as he recalled the weekend discussions which turned into angry arguments in his family of origin, he became more clear about how issues of safety, and the way to deal with un-ease through lashing out or suppressing became a dynamic in his life. This has in different forms played out in his family of creation, and he can now see this pattern even in his interactions with the in-laws of his sons. Deconstruction helped gain insight into the origins and maintenance of anger.

Scripting of the scenarios which continue to trouble him in is life in the present, helped develop alternative interpretations. Through role plays, we started developing better results.We refined these approaches through counselling and keeping an Anger Journal (He called it Riding with Mr.Donkey journal)

3- Reauthoring personal stories:

The scripts made through externalization,deconstruction tools above helped Mr.S gain the power to rewrite his narratives, explore alternative perspectives and be more aware of how his prejudices and projections are affecting his relationships. New stories began to emerge which offered new ways of understanding and creating his experiences.

Shifting from being defined by anger to seeing himself as capable of change and growth, and being a channel of peace, understanding, and kindness has helped Mr S and his family be very different from where they were a year ago.

4- Exploring values and intentions:

As Mr.S evolved from a “Head over Water” Survival level recovery to a more wholesome bigger version of himself, he began to examine his values and vulnerabilities, intentions and impact regarding anger. As we explored pivotal life moments, the purpose anger has served in his life, he changed his way of looking at his teenage years, and also his work, family and community. This led to a deeper understanding of his emotional experiences.

This exploration paved the way for aligning anger with personal values, he rebuilt his relationship with his estranged wife and children, and has started exploring healthier ways of expressing his needs, feelings, situations and story.

5- Creating alternative responses:

The list of alternative responses to Mr.Anger (Dragon/Donkey) helped challenge the dominant narrative that aggressive or destructive behaviours result from anger. He started developing new strategies to harness anger constructively. His strengths, resources, alternative stories enabled him to respond to anger in ways more in life with desired outcomes.

Key points and summary

Creating balance through understanding the borders and boundaries of an issue helps one come up with creative ways to enhance life. Through keeping a written record of the way issues like anger speak in one’s life, how they disturb equanimity, we saw two different approaches to this issue- a classic Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT) approach and a Narrative therapy approach (NT). Creating a positive journal of values, symbols and metaphors (Lotus, dragon, donkey, map, territory, journey) helped co-create better life options.

Exercise

Do you have an issue which you need to see through a different lens? Write how it has spoken to you in your life and discuss as appropriate. Alternatively, write a letter to the issue.

References

White, M. (1984). Pseudo-encopresis: From avalanche to victory, from vicious to virtuous cycles. Family Systems Medicine, 2(2), 150–160. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0091651

White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. WW Norton & Company.

Modern man no longer communicates with the madman . .

. There is no common language, or rather, it no longer

exists……..The language of psychiatry, which is a monologue

by reason about madness, could only have

come into existence in such a silence.

Foucalt, 1961

The Madhouse- 1812-1819- Francisco_de_Goya_-La_casa_de_locos-_Google_Art_Project: Modern Man no longer communicates with the mentally disturbed….Michel Foucalt, 1961

Download Rain Worksheet- to Deconstruct Anger

Mindfulness Practices in 12-Step Recovery

Worksheet RAIN and Anger-aug 2025 (1)Download

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WORKING ON EXISTENTIAL MAPPING-USING DOMAINS OF Self Care, Relationships- the BASIC ID Algorithm of Lazarus (1978)- and the Pillars of Existentialism- Identity, Isolation, Death, Meaning, Freedom.

B-Behaviour – A Affect S- Sensations I-Imagery C-Cognitions-

I Interpersonal Relationships D-Drugs/Alcohol

Navigating Grief: A Compassionate Approach to Healing

PERSONAL CRAZINESS INDEX -PCI-v 2025 11 Download