This month, June 2026 we attended and presented at the World Congress of Existential therapy, and interacted with philosophers and psychotherapists on themes of existential counselling and how it has developed in the context of present social conditions in the post Covid world.
Workshop- on Toxic Positivity: Going beyond Cliches
In this newsletter, I will touch upon the principles of Taoism and Existential Therapy elaborating on The Tao (The Way), Wu Wei (Non-Action), Yin and Yang (duality and interconnectedness) and some practical applications.
Will give a brief overview of the paper we presented on Post Marital Dissolution and Finding Meaning. We used the tools of Living Human Document, Subterranean Life of the Hour to help clients who sought therapy to make sense of their world and relationships in a particularly challenging period of their life.
GROWTH POINTS- Tell Me Another Story-Using the tools of 1- Story and the Story Teller- 2- Elephant in the Room- the three generations 3- Parking Lot- I encouraged them to Develop Their Own Voice, rather than speaking from a position of Victimhood, Failure, Conflict, Stigma and Silence
One of the most memorable moments being when Eric Craig (born 1945) a veteran Humanistic Existential teacher and practitioner presented to Alfried Längle who founded the International Society for Logotherapy and Existential Analysis in Vienna in 1983- the cane which Sigmund Freud gave to his father in 1876, on his return from England. The cane is now returning home to Vienna, Eric Craig said as he presented the memento after many hours of discussion on the Relatedness, Freedom, Choices and Consequences.
STILL HERE
The first keynote speaker was Lewis Gordon, who spoke about Black Existentialism. He spoke of his roots in Jamaica, and in the round table there was a discussion on current themes in Existentialism and community, clinical and research aspects. Gordon talked about how he used to ring up his maternal grandmother, in her eighties, and ask “How are you doing young lady” and she would answer “Still Here”.
STILL HERE-GORDON REMEMBERS HIS COVID SICKNESS
Over the years he has realized the significance of those words. He talked about how when he got Covid in 2020, he did not go to the hospital as he saw how Black and South Asians were taken care of, how many went in, and came out alive (Gordon,2022). Over the years, Gordon told how he has realized the many layers in the words of his grandmother- Still Here.
COMMUNITIES- ORAL HISTORIES-LIBYA
Community memories of the way Black Africans were sought and beaten up in the aftermath of the Fall of Tripoli (Libya, October 2011) are ripe. When I asked local activists and community members, professionals and common people what about the rights of those who want to express their views on the Gaddafi period in a peaceful manner, many saw this as a non issue.
CLOSING ONE’S EYES
In summary, many nuances were explored by Lewis Gordon and other speakers from Africa who talked about Closing One’s Eyes as a secret admission of Projection. There is a form of responsibility present in all denials. We all have been part of this spectrum at some level, in the current and the past. Covering oneself and memories with blankets with regard to colonialism, racism, and the attempted, sometimes successful, genocide of Indigenous peoples, are part of one’s awareness and growth points.
Mapping Paralysis: Presentation on the Collapse of Certainty and Continuity when is paralyzed. The presenter talked about how medical model looks at Neurological issues, while the Phenomenological Existential Approach looks at the Every day Life. Earlier Perspectives- in 1997- I (Prashant Bhatt), had presented a paper on MRI changes in Spine and correlation with Neurological Status at International Congress of Radiology.
The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of bigger ideas, never returns to its original size. —OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
In this monthly group therapy update (March 2026), we apply the cognitive behavior therapy model of how thoughts, feelings, behaviors impact each other and systems we interact with, and use the REST -Relax Evaluate Set Intention Take Action- to view some maps, territories, and journeys.
Bronte Creek-Provincial Park-Thinking Places-Having a Thinking place and scheduling to go there is a great way to Grow- John C Maxwell.
Bronte Creek-Harbour-Oakville
Erindale-Mississauga
Panera Square One-Misisssauga
St John Park-Burlington
Burlington-Spencer Smith Apr 2026
When a group member brought up the suicide of an acquaintance, I remembered the first time I came to know about suicide. This was in Poona (now Pune), Maharashtra, Western India, in the 1970s. The wife of one of my father’s colleagues took her own life- everyone knew, but they did not want to discuss it. One of my family members has suicided, suffering from chronic pain, from which he saw no way out. Many decades later, we still do not mention him. In medical school, every year, a colleague or student took their life.
The example of Solomon Thomas’s journey after his sister Ella took her own life and the ripples that had in his individual life, family, football community, and wider world is a case in point. We then dissect a scenario using the IS PATH WARM framework for suicide awareness. This will show how, after the initial grounding and ABCDE sheets, STOPP tools of CBT and third-generation adaptations such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy can be developed further to chart our journeys.
Existential Framework: Unemployment and Burnout are things we discussed. To develop a perspective, rates of unemployment in Canada-2025 are given in end of this post.
GROUP SUPPORT-PRINCIPLES
Applying CBT in group therapy, we try to develop a safe space and a social microcosm of the real world, create stable, secure attachment relationships, and practice support in the here and now. Grounding exercises like breath, body awareness, and Metta Loving Kindness meditation are some ways to develop and deepen these practices.
The in-person group meeting summarized some insights about expressing emotions amongst men, and we looked at compulsive patterns through a compassionate lens, trying to increase our understanding of the cultural nuances.
Four pivots to develop Group Awareness are
MINDFULNESS: Being aware of the present moment without judging it. Try taking a few slow deep breaths and noticing any sensations in your body right now.
LIVING KINDNESS: Wishing yourself and others safety, happiness, comfort, and freedom from pain. Practice by silently saying to yourself, “May I be safe and well,” and, if you feel comfortable, extending this wish to others in the group.
FOCUSED ATTENTION: Choose one area to work on, such as self-care, self-esteem, or relationships. Set a small goal for the week related to your chosen area, like drinking more water or reaching out to a friend.
OPEN AWARENESS: Try to notice more of what is happening around and within you. Take a moment to glance around the room and notice three things you can see, hear, or feel.
Group Therapy Example
Theme
Example in group session
Comment
Mindfulness
Mindful eating versus Mindless eating
Eating when emotions tell us to eat (sad, anxious, tired) versus when body tells us to eat (stomach growling, low energy)
Though food is a way to connect, the soup and Hakka Rice Noodles, wafers were a bit too much.
Do Different: We will try to limit overeating and be accountable
Living Kindness
May the persons in the group be safe, happy and at ease, while being open about their struggles which they can discuss in a confidential manner and get professional feedback
When group members opened up about their issues relating to education, employment and future vision,we did some processing into the Cultural Context and pressures -especially from Immigrant parents of South Asian and Chinese backgrounds
Focused Attention
Self care of one’s sexual self was discussed.
The point for journaling on the desire, arousal, action, orgasm cycle was suggested to know better the patterns
When group member was asked whether they have had relationships and they answered no, the discrepancy was pointed out.
A fantasy can lead to a relationship.
How this will impact an actual partner dyad with a real person in the future was discussed
Open awareness
In the Here and Now- to defuse from obsessive thinking we went into three sights, two sounds, one taste and linked it with something positive and healing
Eg- Sights of rounded shapes were identified, but after closing eyes were asked how many rectangular objects are in front of us.
This helps increase our awareness of our Biases, Beliefs, Self Take and also teaches us to Detach, Defuse and Develop Equanimity- not getting hooked to Negative Self Talk
BACKGROUND:
The Ripple Effect of Loss: Lessons from Solomon Thomas’s Journey
NFL defensive lineman Solomon Thomas’s story powerfully illustrates how suicide creates devastating waves that extend far beyond the individual loss. When Thomas’s sister Ella took her own life in 2018, the impact reverberated through every layer of his world—transforming not only his personal identity but also reshaping his family’s foundation and his relationship with the broader community.
On an individual level, Thomas experienced what many survivors describe: a complex mix of grief, guilt, and searching questions that no amount of professional success could answer.
His family found themselves navigating an entirely altered landscape, where shared memories became both sources of comfort and painful reminders, and where the simple act of gathering for holidays took on new weight and meaning.
Within the NFL community and beyond, Thomas’s openness about mental health challenges sparked crucial conversations about vulnerability, strength, and the importance of seeking help.
His advocacy work has created ripples of awareness that reach young athletes, families, and communities who might otherwise suffer in silence. This tragedy-to-purpose transformation demonstrates how one person’s willingness to share their pain can become a lifeline for others, turning personal devastation into a force for prevention and healing.
Thomas’s journey reminds us that while suicide leaves permanent scars on those left behind, survivors can choose to honor their loved ones by building bridges of understanding and hope for others walking similar paths.
IS PATH WARM-FRAMEWORK FOR SUICIDE AWARENESS
Scenario: A group member mentioned that a community contact committed suicide around ten days ago. Is the path warm
Letter
Warning Sign
Manifestation in This Scenario
I
Ideation
With a friend’s recent suicide (2 weeks ago), combined with multiple stressors, this individual may be experiencing suicidal thoughts or preoccupation with death.
S
Substance Abuse
Porn addiction as a compulsive behavior used to cope with emotional pain, stress, and loneliness. This can function similarly to substance abuse in providing temporary escape.
P
Purposelessness
Unemployment creates lack of daily structure and purpose. Immigrant status may compound feelings of not belonging or having a meaningful role in society.
A
Anxiety
Anxiety about finding employment, caring for a family member with neurological disease, financial stress, and relationship difficulties (hesitation to relate to female partners).
T
Trapped
Feeling trapped by immigrant circumstances, unemployment, family caregiving responsibilities, and the cycle of porn addiction. Limited options may feel overwhelming.
H
Hopelessness
Friend’s recent suicide may create despair about things ever improving. Multiple ongoing challenges (job, family health, addiction) can make future seem bleak.
W
Withdrawal
Social isolation due to shame about porn addiction, grief over friend’s death, or depression. May withdraw from support systems when most needed.
A
Anger
Anger at circumstances, self (for addiction), the healthcare system (family member’s disease), or the friend who died by suicide. May be internalized or expressed indirectly.
R
Recklessness
Could manifest in risky sexual behaviors online, neglecting self-care, or other impulsive actions as a way to numb emotional pain.
M
Mood Changes
Significant mood swings due to grief, stress, addiction cycles, and hormonal/neurochemical effects of compulsive porn use and depression.
AFTER THOUGHTS
While none of the members said they had active suicidal thoughts, they all agreed that negativity was a way to cut oneself with a thousand paper cuts- self-sabotage. They will bring a list of ways they talk to themselves, cutting each other with small paper-cuts.
Willard, C. (2022). How we grow through what we go through: Self-compassion practices for post-traumatic growth. Sounds True, Incorporated.
Overview of Youth Unemployment in Canada (2025)
In 2025, Canada’s youth unemployment rate (ages 15-24) averaged around 13.8%, peaking at 14.7% in September—the highest since 2010 outside pandemic years—before easing to 13.3% by December. This marked a sharp rise from 10.8% in 2023, driven by weaker entry-level job markets, student summer challenges, and population growth among young temporary residents.
Key Statistics by Age Group (Q3 2025)
Youth unemployment disproportionately affected younger groups, with rates roughly double those of core-aged adults (25-54 years at 5.8%).
Age Group
Unemployment Rate (Q3 2025)
Change Since Q3 2022
15-19 years
20.8%
+8.2 pts
20-24 years
11.3%
+3.2 pts
25-29 years
8.2%
+2.4 pts
30-34 years
6.1%
+1.7 pts
Core adults (25-54)
5.8%
+1.0 pt
Teen (15-19) rates nearly doubled from 2019 levels, hitting 20.8% amid the worst student summer job market since 2009.
Demographic and Regional Breakdowns
May 2025 (ages 15-24): Black youth at 22.3%, racialized at 18.0%, Indigenous at 18.2%; youth with disabilities at 18.8% (vs. 11.9% without). (Statistics Canada, 2025)
NEET Rate: ~914,000 youth (15-29) or 11.5% not in employment, education, or training—up 201,800 since 2023.
Provincial (Dec 2025, youth rates): Ontario ~16%, Newfoundland & Labrador 16.3%, Alberta ~15%, BC ~14% (gaps of 5.5-8.2 pts over overall rates).
Reviewing some journeys and fellow travelers this year, made me see the spokes of the wheel of Satipathana Sutta and its applications in 12 step recovery groups.
I had grown to my desk, as it were, and the wood had entered into my soul….
Charles Lamb, 1821
Reviewing some journeys and fellow travelers this year, 2025, made me see the spokes of the wheel of Satipathana Sutta and its applications in 12 step recovery groups.
The second step of 12 step recovery says-came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The Satipathana Sutta explores body, feelings, mind, dhammas- hindrances and awakening factors.
In Winter 2025 I took a course on Satipathana and over the year, have revised some scripts of 12 step recovery with the orientation of seeing the steps as a path to awakening factors.
Just as the Satipathana meditation groups (Sangha) are important, in 12 step work, you work the program with a sponsor who shares his/her experience, strength and hope and holds one accountable to the 12 step path.
In defining in power greater than myself and working on developing an active spiritual life, I was guided by mentors in 12 step recovery, made to list experiences of spiritual care in my life and also dig deeper into the meaning of dependence and independence, counterdependence and interdependence.
As I look back on some associations, I recall letters which have helped shape my experiences and orientations and how developing thinking places, and making the time to go there have helped me deepen this quest
Itabashi
This thinking place reminded me of the concept of twinning, how family journeys to Benares, Shimla, Delhi, Rishikesh, Dehradun, Bhopal, Ujjain in my childhood and adolescent years from Pune helped me understand nuances of the family and our shared journeys.
Dependence- we want and need help
Counterdependence- we need but resist or even reject help
Independence- we are self sufficient and do not need help
Interdependence- we give and get help to and from others
(Carnes, 1994)
Around 12 years ago, I wrote a series of letters to my sons when they were in Toronto and I used to stay in Tripoli-Libya North Africa on remembering my father Prem Narain Bhatt, PNB, the journeys which shaped his life and how he developed the concept of family after being married to my mother NB nee Uniyal and the association with Benares and Uniyal family helped him get a different feel of family life.
This can be tied to the concept of Interdependence- we give and get help- which shows how we grow together. One of my father’s oft repeated remarks was that his mother passed away before he was five years old. This complex dynamic I have understood in different ways, through my education in counselling psychology, but that is not the scope of this article.
Twinning of the families, interchange of ideas, thoughts, memories and approaches to spirituality make me see the way my father PNB approached faith and my maternal grandmother KU -Kamla Uniyal nee Bahuguna approached her faith life.
Discussing with 12 step fellows four types of Higher Power/God came through
Non existent God/higher power- Not available to offer help
Non involved God/Higher Power- Not concerned and detached from our lives
Accepting God/Higher Power- Who accepts that we fail and cares anyway
Punishing God/Higher Power- Punishes our mistakes, does not reward or help.
(Carnes, 1994)
Application in Spiritual Life of Family
The test of the program is outside the rooms of recovery
A Senior Fellow in 12 step recovery
On remembering the ways of meditation, reading, relating to spiritual texts which my father PNB and maternal grandmother KU imbibed in me, I would say that the concept of Higher Power/God which they modeled was an accepting God who accepted that we fail, cared anyway and helped me understand the pitfalls and need for discipline.
The Bow of Meditation: Practices of my father PNB -at different frontiers
For example – the practice of meditation for at least 20 minutes two times a day, which my father would do every day- has taught me the power of pause, reset, refresh and reflect at the start and end of a day. He used to practice this as his duties carried him to different frontiers from North East India in the 1960s to Sri Lanka in 1980s.
I have refined this into a mid week and end week retreat- where I close all phones/screens and do step work and see relation to steps, higher power and share with a trusted fellow. Over the years, this concept which is derived from the attitude of humility, acceptance and interdependence has helped me see by Blind Spots (BS1) and Bull Shit (Bs 2).
Ramcharitramanas-and my Naniji-Maternal Grandmother-Kamla Uniyal nee Bahuguna: Benares-1950s-60s
The “Ramcharitmanas,” was my grandmother’s go-to book to develop her faith. Through its devotional poetry and the story of Lord Rama, it immersed her in ideals of dharma, selfless service, and unwavering faith, cultivating bhakti (loving devotion) and a model for righteous living. The “Ramcharitmanas” embodies archetypal ideals—like Rama’s integrity or Hanuman’s devotion—which serve as internal compass points. Contemplating these figures gradually reshapes one’s own character and intentions.
Practical Actionable Steps: Readings and Discussions in Greater Toronto Area-2020s
Applying this to my current context in Toronto, Canada, I developed reading circles and discussion groups, in which we read from foundational texts of 12 step recovery and see how these relate to our life.
Two books which helped in making actionable steps were the 12 steps and 12 traditions and Bill’s Story in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). These texts help break the vast journey of spiritual growth into actionable steps- eg admission of powerlessness, developing moral inventories, making amends- which demystify the process and provide concrete daily practices.
For eg when looking at primary purpose and how overthinking can be a stumbling block, the 12 step path helped me be more aware of spiritual aspects of my own family-from by father’s meditation practices, my grandmother’s reading practices – and imbibe them in my own life and develop and deepen my connection with a Higher Power.
The raw honesty of “Bill’s Story” creates immediate identification. Having
heard step ones in the fellowship helped connect with a recovery community.
It shows that spiritual awakening can be born from utter desperation and brokenness.
For eg-one mentor told how he joined 12 step recovery, when he had started becoming very resentful of the drug dependence of his son. He wanted to get the drug suppliers eliminated. That desperate darkness made him seek recovery, develop a connection with a Higher Power and made the Profound accessible. Over the years, I have spent many hours in cafe tables discussing and developing steps and reviewing reflecting on connection with a Higher Power.
One such senior fellow, with whom I have gone for walks by the Humber-Old Mills area- told of his parents migrating from Europe to North America to escape Nazism between the two world Wars. Now 90 years on, he is witnessing those old wounds re-open with the conflicts in Ukraine-2023 and still on going.
12 step recovery and fellowship helped him facilitate a shift from intellectual understanding to experiential truth, fostering humility, connection, and a sustained conscious contact with a power greater than oneself, which has become the bedrock for a life of purpose, peace, and service.
Elements Awakening Factors at Itabashi
Reflection on these notes and reviewing the columns of inventories, powerlessness, amends, the positive coping mechanisms and integrating these with Satipathana- the Awakening factors of Mindfulness, Investigation, Energy, Joy, Tranquility, Concentration and Equipoise has added another dimension to Higher Power Awareness and connection in this year.
For this I often go to Thinking Places. Going to open nature areas or theme parks has helped me deepen this process. One such Thinking place is Itabashi gardens in Burlington, Ontario.
The elements component of Satipathana tells of Earth, Wind, Water, Fire elements and to be aware of the empty nature of the body, cultivating an attitude of non-attachment. The Forest and Trails in and around Itabashi give many occasions to be more aware of these elements in nature and within oneself.
On investigation of the nature of spirituality, as conveyed by Interdependence, reflecting on the stories and journeys of my parents, grandparents and life in the Himalayas in the 1920s, 1940s, in what was British India then, made me deepen the way our family has grown.
In this investigation I also use the concept from Robin Sharma’s book-the Monk who sold his Ferrari- in which he tells the story of transformation of Julian Mantle and illustrates how we reached here, who we are as a group or family , how we reached here and how shared meanings help us evolve to what we can become.
For example- Investigation into the nature of mindfulness in the early morning hour – when night turns into day- has helped me see the rock gardens, different ornamental plants and paths in a fresh manner. The nature of mindfulness (present moment awareness in a non judgmental manner) has become further refined and the awareness of energy of the different tones-happy, sad, anxious, neutral- has increased.
The integration of these into the Letting Go and Non-Attachment while doing silent meditation or walking meditation or mindfulness of breath meditation at Itabashi has added another dimension.
Exploring Local Histories and Integrating them with Spiritual Care
When we first landed in Canada, we went to Kariya Park Mississauga, which symbolizes the twinning of the Japanese city of Kariya with the city of Mississauga.
In my walks in Hamilton area of Ontario, I came to see the statue of the writer Leonardo Sciascia, who comes from the sister city of Hamilton in Ontario- Racalmuto in Italy. This partnership honours and celebrates the historical and cultural connections and how throughout the 20th century, particularly in the post-World War II period, a large number of immigrants from Racalmuto and the surrounding province of Agrigento in Sicily settled in Hamilton, drawn by employment opportunities in the city’s thriving steel industry. These immigrants and their descendants became a vital part of Hamilton’s social, economic, and cultural fabric, establishing a vibrant Italian-Canadian community that has deeply influenced the city’s character.
Through work in various recovery communities, I came across descendants of persons who migrated from Europe, East Asia, South Asia, Africa, South America, Arab world.
In the context of developing and deepening connection with higher power, I looked back at my own family history, the spiritual practices modeled by my family members and how going to a place of historical and natural significance, can deepen such a connection. In my diaries, I have recorded early morning and late afternoon walks in Itabashi gardens, and the way conscious contact with elements, awakening factors, local histories, family memories and step work can make a rich mix to deepen one’s spirituality.
You can download worksheets and work upon them to further develop your connection with Awakening factors and Higher Power/God.
Equanimity: Managing Anger -Comparing Narrative Therapy and CBT
I make myself rich by making my wants few- Henry David Thoreau
Modern man no longer communicates with the madman . . … and expels from the memory all those imperfect words, of no fixed syntax, spoken falteringly, in which the exchange, between madness and reason, was carried out.
Michel Foucalt, 1961, History of Madness
Michel Foucalt- History of Madness-1961- was one of the foundational influences of the founders of Narrative Therapy-Michael White and David Epston
In this article we discuss ways in which different approaches can benefit in defining an issue, taking the example of anger. Anger leads to loss of equanimity.
The word equanimity comes from Latin roots meaning “even” and “mind”. Holding what passes through your mind in spaciousness to stay in balance, moving beyond the reactive mode is achieved by Equanimity. The chain of expectations, desires, wants, are broken leading to alleviation of suffering.
The following are some exercises which I have found useful in moving into Equanimity.
1- Write down ways in which one starts becoming less balanced.
A written record of the ways in which one starts going into the cycle of expectations, desires, wants, fears, greed, disgust can give a good opening into the habits of the heart and head. One way to sharpen this focus is to read a newspaper/news-site for 15 minutes and keep classifying under the headings of greed, fear, disgust the feelings evoked by the articles.
Spencer, the young boy who had the issue of soiling was told to characterize in near and particular terms, how this issue is affecting and ruling his life. His parents were told to characterize how this issue rules and ruins their lives. Then Spencer was asked to give a name to this issue of Soiling. He called it Mr.Mischief. They went on to relate to this issue in a particular rather than general manner, and in a near rather than distant way, thus helping define the boundaries and borders of the issue, get a better handle on it and define their relationship to the issue.
This example of Spencer, illustrates how to externalize and objectify an issue which is affecting one’s life, and then create a statement of position map, which can help one create a plan and monitor our process.
3- Creating personal examples : Balance of the Lotus
Eastern traditions see the Lotus flower as an embodiment of purity, enlightenment and rebirth. The balance between beauty and adversity are shown in the growth process of the Lotus, as it emerges above mud and water. It symbolizes harmonious balance between earthly struggles and divine purity.
Nature walks and creating living symbols of these experiences has been a way to enhance balance in my life.
4- Case Scenario: Anger seen through different counselling approaches (Narrative/CBT)
Mr. S, presents with anger, which has affected his work, relationships, standing in community
NARRATIVE THERAPY APPROACH
Externalize – The history of anger, as if it is a creature outside of oneself waiting to get inside you
Therapist Role-is on listening, accepting, non-judgmental, non-confrontational statements..to be like a Junior Partner, Investigative Journalist,
Imagery sees himself being taken away from grandson
Cognitions I am a middle aged man who is being deprived of my rights,
standing in unfair manner
Interpersonal angry at wife , sons, in-laws
Drugs takes alcohol to drown the pain
NARRATIVE THERAPY approach uses interventions like externalizing, metaphors, mapping to develop a near and particular relation with the issue.
Mr.S went into the history of anger, by asking to see it as a creature outside oneself who is thinking of ways to trick him into losing his calm. Mr.S told of his early years of immigration from Bombay, India to Canada, how he saw his mother being beaten by his alcoholic father, his being bullied in school. As he became a teenager, he stopped these things as best as he knew.The “Bullied became the Bully”. On being asked to give a name for Mr.Anger he came up with two metaphors. He first called Mr.Anger the “Dragon”. However, on reflection he said, “If I am still riding this creature and getting taken for a ride in my seventh decade of life, then I am riding a Mr.Donkey”.
After establishing rapport, agreeing that anger-related issues are worth exploring and addressing, we set about seeing how Mr.S has constructed his life around anger by
1- Externalizing anger
2- Deconstructing anger narratives
3- Re-authoring personal stories
4- Exploring values and intentions
5-Creating alternative responses
1- Externalizing anger
Encouraging Mr.S to treat Mr.Anger as a separate entity or character helped distance himself from anger and view it as something outside of his core identity. Be doing this he gained a new perspective on his anger, started seeing how his life would be without anger and create a map to challenge the dominance of anger in his life.
2- Deconstructing anger
We explored the stories and meanings Mr.S attaches to his anger. Through telling these stories we were able to examine the underlying beliefs, assumptions, and cultural influences that contribute to his anger. For example, as he recalled the weekend discussions which turned into angry arguments in his family of origin, he became more clear about how issues of safety, and the way to deal with un-ease through lashing out or suppressing became a dynamic in his life. This has in different forms played out in his family of creation, and he can now see this pattern even in his interactions with the in-laws of his sons. Deconstruction helped gain insight into the origins and maintenance of anger.
Scripting of the scenarios which continue to trouble him in is life in the present, helped develop alternative interpretations. Through role plays, we started developing better results.We refined these approaches through counselling and keeping an Anger Journal (He called it Riding with Mr.Donkey journal)
3- Reauthoring personal stories:
The scripts made through externalization,deconstruction tools above helped Mr.S gain the power to rewrite his narratives, explore alternative perspectives and be more aware of how his prejudices and projections are affecting his relationships. New stories began to emerge which offered new ways of understanding and creating his experiences.
Shifting from being defined by anger to seeing himself as capable of change and growth, and being a channel of peace, understanding, and kindness has helped Mr S and his family be very different from where they were a year ago.
4- Exploring values and intentions:
As Mr.S evolved from a “Head over Water” Survival level recovery to a more wholesome bigger version of himself, he began to examine his values and vulnerabilities, intentions and impact regarding anger. As we explored pivotal life moments, the purpose anger has served in his life, he changed his way of looking at his teenage years, and also his work, family and community. This led to a deeper understanding of his emotional experiences.
This exploration paved the way for aligning anger with personal values, he rebuilt his relationship with his estranged wife and children, and has started exploring healthier ways of expressing his needs, feelings, situations and story.
5- Creating alternative responses:
The list of alternative responses to Mr.Anger (Dragon/Donkey) helped challenge the dominant narrative that aggressive or destructive behaviours result from anger. He started developing new strategies to harness anger constructively. His strengths, resources, alternative stories enabled him to respond to anger in ways more in life with desired outcomes.
Key points and summary
Creating balance through understanding the borders and boundaries of an issue helps one come up with creative ways to enhance life. Through keeping a written record of the way issues like anger speak in one’s life, how they disturb equanimity, we saw two different approaches to this issue- a classic Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT) approach and a Narrative therapy approach (NT). Creating a positive journal of values, symbols and metaphors (Lotus, dragon, donkey, map, territory, journey) helped co-create better life options.
Exercise
Do you have an issue which you need to see through a different lens? Write how it has spoken to you in your life and discuss as appropriate. Alternatively, write a letter to the issue.
References
White, M. (1984). Pseudo-encopresis: From avalanche to victory, from vicious to virtuous cycles. Family Systems Medicine, 2(2), 150–160.https://doi.org/10.1037/h0091651
White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. WW Norton & Company.
Modern man no longer communicates with the madman . .
. There is no common language, or rather, it no longer
exists……..The language of psychiatry, which is a monologue
by reason about madness, could only have
come into existence in such a silence.
Foucalt, 1961
The Madhouse- 1812-1819- Francisco_de_Goya_-La_casa_de_locos-_Google_Art_Project: Modern Man no longer communicates with the mentally disturbed….Michel Foucalt, 1961
