One with Beauty-An Integration of Imago therapy with Art therapy for Couples and Families

Through the Lens of Love: Integrating Imago Therapy and Photography-Based Art Therapy for Couples and Families

When words fail, the camera remembers. When silence grows, beauty calls us back to each other.


Preface: The Philosopher with a Camera

“I believe in beauty. I believe in stones and water, air and soil, people and their future and their fate.” — Ansel Adams

Ansel Adams was born on February 20th. He was not simply a photographer. He was a philosopher who chose the camera as his instrument of faith — faith in the visible world, and in the invisible beauty that lives just beneath its surface.

He developed the Zone System — a revolutionary method of understanding light and shadow, of determining proper exposure and adjusting contrast in the final print. Every photograph, he taught, is a deliberate negotiation between what is seen and what is felt, between what is captured and what is allowed to breathe in the dark.

It is perhaps no accident that this framework — born from a love of mountains and light — holds within it a profound metaphor for what happens inside a marriage that is slowly going dark.

This blog is a continuation of our earlier exploration of Imago Relationship Therapy for South Asian immigrant couples. Here, we go further — weaving into that clinical framework the healing power of photography-based art therapy, drawing on the philosophy of Ansel Adams, the documentary humanity of Paul Strand, and the quiet wisdom of teachers like Mr. Tirtha Das Gupta (TDG) of the School of Fototechnik, Delhi — who believed, without apology, that photography is one of the three essential skills for surviving the modern world.

We now believe it may also be essential for saving a marriage.


The Silent Dinner Table as an Underexposed Frame

Return, for a moment, to the couple we met before. A suburban Canadian home. Two people. One table. Two phone screens casting their cold light into the silence between them.

In photographic terms, this scene is underexposed.

There is light in the room — there is always light — but neither person has learned how to let enough of it in. The aperture of their connection has closed over years of unspoken hurt, immigration stress, cultural dislocation, and the long accumulation of unmet needs. The image that remains is dark, flat, and lacking in contrast. It does not yet tell the full story of who they are to each other.

The work of Imago Therapy — and now, photography-based art therapy — is to adjust the exposure. To bring back the shadow detail that has been lost. To retrieve the image of the relationship that is still there, waiting in the dark to be developed.


Why Photography as Art Therapy?

When TDG told his students that photography was one of the three things necessary for survival in the modern world, he was not speaking only of technical skill. He was speaking of a way of seeing — a discipline of attention that refuses to let the world pass by unexamined.

“Over the years I have realized that photography is a very useful way to grow as a human being, to not live a mechanical ‘animal’ existence, to refine one’s tastes and to be one with Beauty.”

This insight aligns profoundly with the goals of art therapy in a clinical context. Photography-based art therapy is not about producing technically perfect images. It is about:

  • Slowing down perception — forcing the eye, and therefore the mind, to truly look
  • Externalizing the internal — giving shape, frame, and form to feelings that resist language
  • Creating shared meaning — offering couples a non-verbal bridge across the silence
  • Reclaiming agency — allowing people who feel helpless in their relationships to make deliberate, creative choices
  • Witnessing beauty — reconnecting with wonder, which is the antidote to contempt

For the South Asian immigrant couple navigating the intersection of cultural displacement and relational rupture, photography offers something particularly powerful: it does not require fluency in the emotional vocabulary of Western therapy. It only requires a willingness to look.


Art as Therapy
Art at Old Mills-Toronto- Over the decades I have had the good fortune of being mentored by some artists who have shared their insights and expanded my thinking. In Photography-one of them has been Tirtha Das Gupta, LRPS, of Delhi. Another Mentor, whom I will call T is a musician, spiritual fellow traveler with whom I have spent many lovely hours exploring life and art- sitting by the Humber- at Old Mills-Etienne Brule Park and surrounding areas.

The Zone System as a Map of the Relationship

Adams’ Zone System divides the tonal range of a photograph into eleven zones, from pure black (Zone 0) to pure white (Zone X). The photographer’s skill lies in understanding where each element of a scene falls on this scale — and making deliberate choices about how to render it.

This system becomes a startlingly precise metaphor for the emotional landscape of a couple in crisis:

Zone Photographic Meaning Relational Meaning
Zone 0 Pure black — no detail Complete emotional shutdown; stonewalling
Zone I–II Near-black; barely visible Chronic withdrawal; minimal contact
Zone III–IV Dark shadows with some detail Surface-level interaction; polite distance
Zone V Middle grey — the balance point Functional coexistence; neutral ground
Zone VI–VII Light with visible texture Moments of warmth; glimpses of connection
Zone VIII–IX Bright highlights; almost white Deep vulnerability; genuine intimacy
Zone X Pure white — detail lost in overexposure Emotional flooding; dysregulation

The couple at the dinner table lives in Zones I through III. The silence is not emptiness — it is shadow detail waiting to be recovered. The task of therapy is not to blast everything into Zone X through forced emotional intensity, but to gently, deliberately move the couple toward Zone V and beyond — toward the middle ground where texture and humanity begin to reappear.

This framework can be introduced to couples visually, using actual photographic prints or even printed grey scale cards, making abstract emotional concepts tangible and culturally accessible — particularly for a husband who may find emotional language uncomfortable but responds well to systems and structure.


Paul Strand, Lewis Hine, and the Dignity of the Immigrant Gaze

Before we enter the therapy room with our camera, we must pause at a profound historical intersection.

Paul Strand — who played a decisive role in Ansel Adams choosing photography over music — was himself shaped by Lewis Hine, the great documentarian of America’s new immigrants in the early twentieth century. Hine’s photographs did not capture immigrants as burdens or curiosities. They captured them as full human beings — with dignity, complexity, and stories that deserved to be seen.

Strand inherited this gaze. His teacher at New York’s Ethical Culture School gave him not only technical skills but a moral framework: that the camera is an instrument of witness, and that to photograph a human being is an act of responsibility.

For our South Asian immigrant couple, this lineage matters deeply. They too are immigrants. They too have been looked at — by institutions, by neighbours, by the new culture that surrounds them — through lenses that often reduce rather than expand their humanity. One of the quiet injuries of immigration is precisely this: the feeling of being seen wrongly, or not seen at all.

Photography-based art therapy, rooted in this humanistic tradition, offers them the radical experience of controlling the gaze — of choosing what to photograph, what to show, what to name as beautiful, what to declare worthy of a frame.

“Most creative people are strongly humanistic. Artists must be free to create and offer the products of their imagination and emotion to the world.”

In the therapy room, both partners become artists. And the first subject they are asked to photograph is not a landscape. It is the life they have built together — in all its shadows and its light.


The Integrated Framework: Imago Therapy Meets the Photographic Eye

🌅 Phase One: The First Exposure — Creating Safety Through Shared Seeing

Before any emotionally charged dialogue begins, the therapist introduces a shared photography assignment designed to do what early Imago sessions do: establish safety and curiosity.

Assignment — “What I See That You Don’t Know I See”:

Each partner is given a simple camera — a phone camera is entirely sufficient — and asked to spend one week photographing:

  • Three things in their shared home that bring them quiet comfort
  • One thing that represents how they feel right now
  • One image that reminds them of why they chose each other

There are no captions required. No explanations. Just images.

They bring these photographs to the next session — printed if possible, displayed on a phone if not. The therapist then uses the Imago Dialogue structure not around a verbal statement, but around a photograph.

The wife shows the image that represents how she feels right now: a half-empty teacup, cold, sitting on the windowsill with the grey Canadian winter outside.

The husband mirrors: “What I see in your image is… a cup that has gone cold. Something that was warm and is now waiting. Did I see that right?”

She nods. Perhaps for the first time, he has described her inner world accurately — not because she told him in words that felt like accusations, but because a photograph held the feeling at a safe distance, allowing both of them to look at it together.

This is the genius of art therapy in couple work: it triangulates the pain. Instead of two people facing each other with their wounds, they are both facing the image — and through it, finding a new way toward each other.


📷 Phase Two: The Zone System Dialogue — Mapping the Emotional Landscape Together

In the second phase of integration, the therapist introduces the Zone System as a shared vocabulary — a non-clinical, non-pathologizing language for emotional experience.

Each partner is asked:

“If you had to photograph your experience in this marriage right now, what zone would that image live in? What does that look like?”

The husband, who has been reluctant to speak in emotional terms, may find this entry point genuinely accessible. He is not being asked to describe his feelings. He is being asked to think visually — a different cognitive pathway that may bypass his defenses.

He might say: “Zone III. You can see there’s something there, but it’s mostly dark.”

She might say: “Zone II. I feel like I’m almost invisible.”

The therapist then asks — gently, without pressure:

“What would it take to move one zone toward the light? Not all the way to Zone VIII. Just one zone. What would that look like in your daily life together?”

This question — small, specific, photographically framed — becomes the Behaviour Change Request of Imago Therapy, translated into the visual language of the Zone System. It is not overwhelming. It is not asking for a complete transformation. It is asking for one stop of additional exposure. One small shift toward visibility.


🤝 Phase Three: The Collaborative Photograph — Making Something Together

As the couple moves deeper into the therapeutic work — as the Imago Dialogue begins to surface childhood wounds, old Imago patterns, and the grief of feeling perpetually unseen — the therapist introduces the most powerful assignment in this integrated approach:

The Collaborative Photograph.

Both partners go out together — to a park, a market, a familiar neighbourhood — with a single camera, and they make one photograph together. They must:

  1. Agree on the subject
  2. Agree on the framing
  3. One holds the camera; the other adjusts the angle
  4. They take one final image — together

This seemingly simple exercise contains extraordinary therapeutic depth. It requires:

  • Negotiation — the foundation of healthy relationship
  • Attunement — paying attention to what the other person sees as beautiful
  • Mutual creative authority — neither person’s vision dominates
  • A shared product — something they made together that did not exist before

When they bring this image to the next session, the therapist asks them to describe not the photograph, but the process of making it.

Who noticed the subject first? How did you decide on the frame? Was there a moment of disagreement? How did you resolve it? What did it feel like when you finally took the shot?

This conversation — about a photograph — is almost always also a conversation about the marriage. The patterns that emerge in the thirty minutes of collaborative photography are the same patterns that have been playing out for years across dinner tables and long silences. But here, they are observable, nameable, and — crucially — changeable in real time.


🌿 Phase Four: The Archive — Recovering the Visual History of Love

Ansel Adams understood that the photograph is not a record of the past — it is a conversation with it. He spent decades in his darkroom, not just printing new images but returning to old negatives, discovering in them new meanings that were not visible at the time of capture.

In this phase, the therapist invites the couple to bring photographs from their shared past — from before the silence descended. Wedding photographs. Travel images. A picture from their first home. A photo of a festival celebrated together in the early years.

Using the Imago Dialogue, each partner is invited to respond to a shared photograph:

“When you look at this image, what do you remember feeling? What did you believe about us then that you’re not sure you believe now? What do you miss?”

This is grief work, tenderly done. It is also hope work — because the fact that the photograph exists means the warmth existed too. It was real. It was captured. It has not been destroyed. It has only been waiting — like a negative in a drawer — to be developed in the light of the present moment.

For many South Asian couples, this archive exercise carries an additional layer of meaning. Many of their wedding photographs were taken in ceremonial contexts saturated with collective beauty — families gathered, colors vivid, rituals alive. These images connect them not only to each other but to a whole world that immigration has placed at a geographic and sometimes emotional distance. Revisiting these photographs in therapy can be a powerful act of cultural reclamation — a reminder that beauty, community, and belonging are not lost but waiting to be carried forward.


✨ Phase Five: The Mantra Through the Lens — Being One with Beauty

Adams closed his autobiography with a Gaelic mantra that had been given to him fifty years earlier by the poet Ella Young:

I know that I am one with beauty And that my comrades are one Let our souls be mountains, Let our spirits be stars, Let our hearts be worlds.

This is not merely poetry. In the context of Imago Therapy, it is a therapeutic vision statement — an articulation of what a conscious, healed relationship can feel like.

In the final phase of the integrated program, the therapist offers the couple a final photography assignment rooted in this mantra:

“One with Beauty” — A Visual Love Letter:

Each partner creates a small collection of five photographs — images that answer the question:

“What is beautiful about us? Not about what we were, not about what we wish we were — but about what still exists between us, right now, in this ordinary life we share.”

The images might be humble: morning light on a shared coffee cup. A coat hanging next to another coat by the door. The pattern of two people’s shoes left together at the entrance of a home. The particular way one partner has arranged the kitchen spices.

These images — small, domestic, specific — are the visual equivalent of the Imago Dialogue’s empathy step. They say: I have been paying attention. I have seen you. I have found beauty in the ordinary fact of your existence in my life.

When these collections are shared in the therapy room, something that has been locked behind years of silence often releases. Not dramatically. Quietly. The way light comes into a room not all at once but gradually, as the day shifts.


Cultural Weaving: Photography and the South Asian Soul

The integration of photography into therapy for South Asian couples is not culturally foreign — it is, in fact, deeply resonant. Consider:

  • Festivals and ritual photography are central to South Asian life — weddings, Diwali, Eid, Dussehra, Gurpurab. The camera has always been present at moments of beauty and transition.
  • Family albums hold enormous relational weight in South Asian families — they are objects of collective memory, of pride, of mourning.
  • The eye as a philosophical instrument — in many South Asian spiritual traditions, darshan (the auspicious sight of the divine) and the act of seeing and being seen are sacred. Photography, understood this way, is not a Western technology imposed on Eastern experience. It is a modern extension of an ancient understanding: that to truly see is to honour.

The therapist working with this couple need not abandon cultural humility to introduce a camera into the room. Instead, they can invite the couple to bring their own photographic traditions — their wedding album, their festival images, their photographs of parents and grandparents back home — and honour these as the archive of beauty from which the couple’s shared identity was originally formed.


A Note on the Reluctant Participant

Research consistently shows that South Asian husbands engage less readily with therapeutic homework (Enhancing the Relationship Adjustment of South Asian Canadian Couples, 2016). It is worth noting here that photography-based homework changes this dynamic significantly.

Photography is:

  • Active, not passive — it requires going somewhere, doing something, making a choice
  • Technical enough to feel purposeful — for those who resist purely emotional tasks, the act of composing a photograph provides a cognitive anchor
  • Socially legitimate — taking photographs is a normal, culturally accepted activity that does not carry the stigma of “emotional homework”
  • Non-confrontational — the image speaks; the person does not have to

Many husbands who will not write in a journal, will not complete a feelings worksheet, and will not articulate emotional needs in session will — given a camera and a simple brief — come back the following week having taken thirty photographs, eager to show what they found.

The camera gives permission to feel without having to announce that you are feeling. And sometimes, that is exactly what is needed to begin.


The Conservation of Love

Ansel Adams was one of the founders of the Conservation movement — long before Global warming became a household phrase, he and his contemporaries understood that beauty, left unprotected, would be lost. They acted early. They named what was at risk. They fought for it.

The parallels to a marriage in crisis are not subtle.

The love that existed between this couple — that brought them together across families, cultures, perhaps continents — is not gone. But it is, like an old-growth forest, vulnerable to the slow erosion of neglect, the daily small destructions of inattention and stress. Immigration has accelerated this erosion. The acculturation gap has widened the cracks.

Imago Therapy, enriched by the lens of photography-based art therapy, is an act of conservation.

It says: This is worth saving. This beauty is worth the effort of seeing it again. This image has not been destroyed — it has only been underexposed. And we know how to bring it back.


Closing: A Long Shot — TDG, Ansel Adams, and the Couple at the Table

In TDG’s school of photography at Bhogal, New Delhi, a young student once sat waiting for a first lecture to begin, skeptical that photography could be a survival skill for the modern world. Over years and continents and the accumulated wisdom of masters both famous and quietly great, that skepticism dissolved into understanding:

To photograph is to practice the art of seeing. And to see — truly see — is the most radical act available to a human being.

For the South Asian couple sitting across from each other in a therapy room in Canada, learning to see again — themselves, each other, the beauty that still exists in the ordinary texture of their shared life — may be exactly the survival skill they need.

Not just to save a marriage.

But to become, as Ansel Adams believed was possible for all of us:

One with beauty. Comrades — again.


Let our souls be mountains. Let our spirits be stars. Let our hearts be worlds.


Integrated Therapy Modules at a Glance

Module Imago Tool Photography Exercise Therapeutic Goal
1. Safety Building Dialogue structure introduction “What I See That You Don’t Know I See” Reduce defensiveness; build curiosity
2. Emotional Mapping Validation and mirroring Zone System emotional mapping Create shared emotional vocabulary
3. Collaborative Creation Behaviour Change Request The Collaborative Photograph Practice negotiation and attunement
4. Archive Work Childhood wound surfacing Visual history of love Connect present conflict to past joy
5. Beauty Reclamation Conscious relationship vision “One with Beauty” visual love letter Renew intentional seeing and gratitude

This blog integrates principles of Imago Relationship Therapy (Hendrix & LaKelly Hunt), photography-based art therapy, and the humanistic photographic philosophy of Ansel Adams and Paul Strand. Cultural applications draw from research on South Asian Canadian couples in therapeutic contexts (2016). All clinical applications should be adapted by qualified mental health professionals with appropriate cultural competence.

Earlier Perspectives

Couples therapy approach

11th hour call- For Burnt Out Relationship: ICST-Integrative Couples and Sex Therapy

2009  Remembering Ansel Adams

One with Beauty-Remembering Ansel Adams

 

Contact – Prashant Bhatt, MD (India), MA (Honours), RP

Registered Psychotherapist, trained in Integrative Couples Sex Therapy – 6478181385 (text first), email: drpbhatt@gmail.com

Mamta Bhatt, MA (Honours), RP

Level 2- Gottman Certified Couples Therapist-

References and further readings

Hendrix, H., & Hunt, H. L. (2021). Doing imago relationship therapy in the space between: A clinician’s guide. WW Norton & Company.

Spaulding, J. (1995). Ansel Adams and the American landscape: a biography. Univ of California Press.

Thakore-Dunlap, U., Srivastava, D., & Tewari, N. (2022). Counseling and Psychotherapy for South Asian Americans. Routledge, 10, 9781003081548.

WORKSHEET

WS Worksheet- Johari Window 2026 1

Still Here: World Congress of Existential Therapy -Some notes

 

This month, June 2026 we attended and presented at the World Congress of Existential therapy, and interacted with philosophers and psychotherapists on themes of existential counselling and how it has developed in the context of present social conditions in the post Covid world. 

Workshop- on Toxic Positivity
Workshop- on Toxic Positivity: Going beyond Cliches

In this newsletter, I will touch upon the principles of Taoism and Existential Therapy elaborating on The Tao (The Way), Wu Wei (Non-Action), Yin and Yang (duality and interconnectedness) and some practical applications. 

Will give a brief overview of the paper we presented on Post Marital Dissolution and Finding Meaning. We used the tools of Living Human Document, Subterranean Life of the Hour to help clients who sought therapy to make sense of their world and relationships in a particularly challenging period of their life. 

GROWTH POINTS- Tell Me Another Story-Using the tools of 1- Story and the Story Teller- 2- Elephant in the Room- the three generations 3- Parking Lot- I encouraged them to Develop Their Own Voice, rather than speaking from a position of Victimhood, Failure, Conflict, Stigma and Silence

One of the most memorable moments being when Eric Craig (born 1945) a veteran Humanistic Existential teacher and practitioner presented to Alfried Längle who founded the International Society for Logotherapy and Existential Analysis in Vienna in 1983- the cane which Sigmund Freud gave to his father in 1876, on his return from England. The cane is now returning home to Vienna, Eric Craig said as he presented the memento after many hours of discussion on the Relatedness, Freedom, Choices and Consequences.

STILL HERE

The first keynote speaker was Lewis Gordon, who spoke about Black Existentialism. He spoke of his roots in Jamaica, and in the round table there was a discussion on current themes in Existentialism and community, clinical and research aspects. Gordon talked about how he used to ring up his maternal grandmother, in her eighties, and ask “How are you doing young lady” and she would answer “Still Here”. 

STILL HERE-GORDON REMEMBERS HIS COVID SICKNESS

Over the years he has realized the significance of those words. He talked about how when he got Covid in 2020, he did not go to the hospital as he saw how Black and South Asians were taken care of, how many went in, and came out alive (Gordon,2022). Over the years, Gordon told how he has realized the many layers in the words of his grandmother- Still Here.

COMMUNITIES- ORAL HISTORIES-LIBYA

Community memories of the way Black Africans were sought and beaten up in the aftermath of the Fall of Tripoli (Libya, October 2011) are ripe. When I asked local activists and community members, professionals and common people what about the rights of those who want to express their views on the Gaddafi period in a peaceful manner, many saw this as a non issue. 

CLOSING ONE’S EYES

In summary, many nuances were explored by Lewis Gordon and other speakers from Africa who talked about Closing One’s Eyes as a secret admission of Projection. There is a form of responsibility present in all denials. We all have been part of this spectrum at some level, in the current and the past. Covering oneself and memories with blankets with regard to colonialism, racism, and the attempted, sometimes successful, genocide of Indigenous peoples, are part of one’s awareness and growth points.

Mapping Paralysis: Presentation on the Collapse of Certainty and Continuity when is paralyzed. The presenter talked about how medical model looks at Neurological issues, while the Phenomenological Existential Approach looks at the Every day Life. Earlier Perspectives- in 1997- I (Prashant Bhatt), had presented a paper on MRI changes in Spine and correlation with Neurological Status at International Congress of Radiology.

NEWSLETTER-2026-JUNE

Newsletter June 2026_ Mantra of Hope Counselling (1)

 

Breaking Cycles of Blame: Healing Relationships Through Attachment Insights

Attachment interruptions are dangerous…like a scratched cornea,
relationship ruptures deliver agony.”
Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon, A General Theory of Love
 
In this article, we explore the idea of love as a mirror, look at different attachment patterns, and revisit John Bowlby’s 1944 study of the 44 juvenile thieves to see how it has shaped psychotherapy and society.
 
Earlier, we talked about John Bowlby’s attachment theory. In this article, we share more details about his key work and how his ideas have shaped psychotherapy, mental health, and society.
 
We also include a worksheet to help you understand and break cycles of blame, frustration, numbing, shutting down, and lashing out—patterns that can turn loving relationships into sources of conflict.
 
John Bowlby-1944
 

 

Bowlby-1944
Bowlby’s 1944 study of juvenile delinquents laid the groundwork for Attachment theory, which explains how we form and keep relationships.
 
The study looked at 44 juvenile delinquents and compared them to 44 emotionally troubled children who did not steal. Bowlby interviewed the mothers and talked about their challenges with a social worker.
 
He found that problems with forming relationships can increase the risk of offending. While these findings support the idea that early childhood experiences shape later behavior, it’s important to remember that correlation does not always mean causation. Other factors may also play a role, but Bowlby believed that broken early attachments could lead to future delinquency.
 
Later studies have backed up his ideas, showing that insecure attachments in early life are strong predictors of later behavioral problems.
 
This highlights the need for early support to help children who have difficult experiences, in line with Bowlby’s original insights.
 
Juvenile crime is not just caused by psychological factors. Social and economic issues, like poverty, few recreational activities, and poor housing, are also important. To truly understand juvenile delinquency, we need to look at all these factors together.
 
Core Theoretical Ideas
 
  • Attachment is a natural system that helps us seek safety and comfort from caregivers. Simply put, it’s like how a child feels safe in a parent’s arms, able to explore but always able to come back for security.
  •  
  • Internal Working Models are mental pictures of ourselves and others that we form in early relationships. These guide our expectations, emotions, and future relationships. Think of your mind as a library filled with stories from childhood about how people treat you and how you see yourself. These stories shape how you relate to others as you grow.
  •  
  • Continuity and Change: Early patterns shape our development, but new experiences and therapy can help us change and grow.
The Mirroring Worksheet can help you notice your patterns, build healthier relationships, and pause when old habits return. The ABCDE sheet is another tool to help you slow down and reflect.
 
Ghosts in Family: Adapting John Bowlby

Shimla-1940s..British India :This theme took me back to the oft-repeated remark of my father, who lost his mother when he was less than five years old. “I never had a mother,”

Family of origin: Looking back at my parents’ childhood patterns helped me understand some lasting truths. My father’s mother died in the early 1940s, when he was under five years old.
 
Bowlby’s attachment theory can be used with Time and Truth tools. By looking at a family’s timeline, we can see how our earliest moments and our first caregivers become our first mirrors.
 
This theme took me back to the oft-repeated remark of my father, who lost his mother when he was less than five years old. “I never had a mother,” he would say.
 
He was born in British India and lived in a collectivist Joint family arrangement, brought up with his extended family, cousins, and other family elders. His father started in the fire department of Shimla, British India, in the 1930s and then worked in the Ministry of External Affairs from 1947 to 1969.
 
DEVELOPING DEEPER RELATIONS : WALKS AND LOCAL HISTORIES

 

Mindsight means developing an observer’s mind to find meaning and gain insight. To practice this, spend 30 seconds just watching your own thoughts. Don’t judge—just notice what comes up. This simple exercise can help you turn the idea of mindsight into real experience, building self-awareness and a better understanding of your relationships.
         
Doing the exercise of noticing how someone relates to me, what they reflect back, and how I see myself through that relationship made me think about some of my mentors.
 
One of my mentors is my spiritual guide. We try to meet once a month and walk by the Humber River in the Old Mills area, at Etienne Brule Park. We often sit and meditate around 2 pm, wishing for peace and harmony for the earth, all people, and all living beings. There is a memorial stone in Etienne Brule where we reflect on the words of Robert Burns. This memorial honors David Dryburgh Birrell (1942-1998).
..
 

 ..
Whatever mitigates the woes or increases the happiness of others
That is my criterion of goodness.
Whatever injures society as a whole or any person in it
That is my measure of iniquity.
 
   Robert Burns
 
LOCAL HISTORIES-PARKS AND MEMORIALS
 
 
Over the past decade, my family and I, immigrants from India who lived in Libya and Malta before coming to Toronto, have built personal connections and memories in some of these parks.
 
         These spiritual connections have helped us feel more at home in this community. Last summer (2025), while my mentor and I sat by the memorial stone, someone praying nearby came over and asked, “Did you know David?” We replied, “We did not know him in his physical life, but we feel his spiritual presence.” He told us he knows the family and spoke about David’s peaceful nature. Connections like these can be healing. As we walk a spiritual path, we meet fellow travelers.
 
 
 
RESOURCES FOR REFLECTION- You can download the original report of John Bowlby-1944; Worksheets on Emotional Mirroring and ABCDE sheets
 

ADDITIONAL READING

 

 

DOWNLOAD VERSION OF THE ARTICLE WITH LINKS TO

WORKSHEETS HERE

Cycles of Trust-Bowlby (1)